CNF:A Dog and its Butthead of an Owner

A Dog and it’s butthead of an owner

I thought I would just let you know that I have a major problem with you. First of all you talk to me like I’m a baby all the time. “aweeee who’s my little baby? Who’s soooo cute? Who wants to play, oh! Do you wanna play?” “Uh news flash I’m 21 years old not three like you think I am.”. The when I want to eat you have to come by like the butthead you are a pick me up and kiss me all over and say “ gimmie a kiss and ill let you down to eat!” . “ Excuse me but do you really think I want to put my tong on that nasty acne filled face of yours?” “ uh well ill tell you, h*ll no! that’s the last thing I wanna do before I eat.”. Talking about eating, what’s this nasty crap that you put in my bowl everyday? I mean, come one you get a different meal everyday and all I have to eat are those nasty round brown things that taste like crap that you put in my bowl each and every day, sometimes you even forget to fill my bowl so I starve all day and beg you for food when your eating. Then you wonder why I sit there and drool every time you eat. Hello! PUT FOOD IN MY BOWL! And ill go away without YOU having to f***ing yelling at me! Then when you decide to give me a piece of your food for a “treat” you make me do all this stupid sh*t, I don’t see you jumping up to get your dinner? Then you wonder why I get into the trash and make a huge mess for you to clean up when you get home from spending the whole day at your friends house and leave me in the house to do NOTHING! Oh yea! I almost forgot, when you tell me to stop barking why don’t you tell yourself to shut the h*ll up because I DON’T GIVE A SH*T ABOUT ANYTHING YOU SAY!